A Mother with Multiple Hats

As a survived another frantic morning before school began I found my mind counting up the number of hats I’ve worn within a ninety minute timeframe.  After dragging myself out of bed and rushing through my own preparations, my time had to be put to the side in favor of my children. First I put on the helmet of a drill sergeant and entered our three daughters share bedroom blaring the mommy alarm—loud singing, stripping of blankets, tickling toes and tummies, turning on the radio to an obscene level of annoying music and last but not least flipping on the lights.

After instituting the wake up call, I replaced the helmet for a floppy chef’s hat.  Orders were flying as quickly as minds became alert. Scrambled eggs and toast was the standard issue today, but in typical fashion I ended up with three different orders—“hold the cheese”, “no toast, please” and “can I have something more?” Deftly doling out the meals as the kids dragged in, I put my helmet back on and stated dishing out orders. They were the standard ones—pack your bag, brush your teeth, comb your hair and make your bed—but either they lacked the ability to be fully aware in the morning or they mentally preferred being barked at. One girl is spot on, another marches to her own tune and one plays deaf.

As the troops march about, sometimes to the tune of “about face” to keep them in the right direction, I shift my role to running a beauty salon. This is why I get up earlier than my kids—every hairdresser I’ve met looks glamorous instilling in their patrons a desire to look only half as good. Pulling out my weapons of choice—hairdryer, detangler spray and brush—I am ready to get to work. Kids line up in stations (my drill techniques still in place). First it’s washing hair at the sink, followed by hair drying and some semblance of styling. That too depends on the child—the typical headband, a strange position for a ponytail and whatever mom chooses.

While we are playing salon, I shift to being resident dentist placing my mask over my face and reminding them to brush back and front as well as the choppers. Then its pins in my mouth as I play the local seamstress and pin up this or that. Oh…the cafeteria needs to be opened again, lunches have to be made. Placing the rumpled chef’s hat back on my head I take orders for lunch. Its tuna fish, but like breakfast it comes with different specifications—“pickles”, “no pickles” and “can I have my in a container since I don’t like bread?”

By the time we have marched to our rooms, made our beds and put away our PJ’s I feel as if I’ve run a marathon. Kids are ushered out of the house, dressed in warm clothes despite the whines and I finally get to shift to being just a mother. With a kiss on each forehead I sigh as my grown up kids head off to be instructed and drilled by another.

But my duties are done yet, I still have to pull out my calculator and be the family accountant. I’ll bite my nails as I balance the check register and wonder for the third time why I bought that item. Success and relief are not always the result of this task, but I move on for my day is yet to begin. I’m a garbage woman, the maid, sometimes the sous chef making dinner preparations or the tireless gofer running endless errands. At other times I’m the resident nurse and always a guidance counselor.

I know I’m not alone out there. Many of you, mothers, grandmothers or sweet singles all wear multiple hats. As I’ve dwelled on this fact two things came to mind.  I hope I am appreciated for my duties and thank goodness women were blessed with boundless drive. So tell me, what are your hats?

My Husband -- My Best Friend

     I suppose it may be uncommon to say that, but I’m grateful I can. It’s not as if we spend hours together shopping at the store or making crafts like I would do with a girlfriend. Instead he is that rock that I can lean on. We can do nothing but hang out with a movie and we both feel complete. He’s the first one I want to talk to and will listen when I go on and on. I could share more, but I’d rather not embarrass him. 

     I think the difference between a husband who’s a lover and one who’s your friend is that with the latter you get both. Those romantic moments are sweet and fulfilling, but when romance isn’t daily you don’t feel cheated.

     A best-friend-husband means you can coincide in life with practical harmony. There are no failed expectations because you are more likely to give than take. Your friends make be fickle and critical, but your BFH knows you better. That messy house is partly his fault and the kids are made from his genes too.

     The best part is that men aren’t catty. They grow use to your lack of flare, course you have forgiven them for their love handles. They don’t judge you based on what you have created; in fact they would probably be content with a house with fewer decorations.

     The trick I believe is starting with a BFH. Since my husband and I met online we were friends first and I appreciate that fact more and more. We didn’t have showy dates and awkward conversation; we got right to the core and grew closer in the process.

     I’m not a love guru, so I can’t say how to create the perfect BFH. Maybe its simplicity in our expectations, or being a team in every aspect.  Do you gravitate toward him? I find myself giddy just being by his side—content to have his arm around me. My greatest Christmas wish is for all women to have a BFH.

Contest

I started this blog a few months ago as a fun outlet for the many thoughts rolling in my mind. Perhaps I'm crazy, but as a writer we wish for validation and acceptance, and then as the world of publishing is changing, we need more than a publisher and their team of marketers, we need others to already know our name.  I thought this contest would be a snazzy way to capture people's attention to my writing, share my perspective or my drivel. 

How you can get your name in the drawing for a fun reward:
1.  Becoming a follower (two entries)
2.  Comment on my posts, only once per post (for a total of six more entries)
3.  Refer my blog to other friends.  Put a comment on the post A New Beginning with the names of friends you told about me.  If they become a follower, or comment on a post I will give you two entries per friend.

I will be awarding three prizes to three different individuals whose names will be drawn from a hat randomly by my own personal Vanna.  Increase your odds, join in the fun.  After all, it's nearly Christmas and who doesn't want a free gift.

The Reward: A crocheted flower ring from ToCreateOrNot’s Etsy shop.

  You can select from the available rings or request a custom one of your own color.  Have fun and good luck!  Contest ends midnight of Dec 3rd.

And the winners are: Susan, Emily and Becca.  Thanks to all her participated.  Come back and check on occasion.  I'll keep posting my thoughts and reviews, sharing part of my life with you.

Garden Plot Review

Garden Plot by Kristen McKendry ranks up there with the best I’ve read lately.  It captured me from the beginning until four hours later, dishes in the sink and chaos reigning around me.  That’s good!  McKendry has the ability to not only weave a mystery that only unfolds at the end, but develop great characters that are memorable.  From those who help at the Whole-Life Wellness Center to the ‘guests’ and to the suspects, which often were the same. 

Amidst the chaos a murder always provides, Erin Kilpatrick rises to the occasion and shows strength and bravado she easily denies.  It’s her drive to solve the mystery that instills her into my heart as one of my favorite character.  You’ll be pulled in waiting for Erin to ask pivotal questions and giving her a high five for the ones she surprises you with.  The extra delight happens as her churning mind pulls the unsuspecting detective assigned to the case into her wake.  The two together make an amazing team—imagine Maddie and David, or more recently Booth and Bones.  Do I hear a sequel?

Garden Plot is a delightful book and one I recommend to all readers.  As the tag on the front says—a mystery rooted in humor.  The perfect balance of sleuthing meets the challenges of real life. 

Shoe Fairy

A friend of ours tuned is into a great concept for getting your kids to bed…a shoe fairy.  Like the tooth fairy and others of their kind, Miss Shoe Fairy (Betty at our home) leaves goodies in the child’s left out shoe IF they get to bed at the assigned time.

Great concept…even worked a few times.  For a couple of days in a row our girls were rushing to get to bed and even quiet once we closed their door.  Little trinkets commonly found at dollar stores (since mother fairy doesn’t believe they need any more candy) were stashed in their shoes. 

After the first night, our middle child began leaving notes for our fairy.  The correspondence was great.  We learned our fairy’s name, how old she was (163) and what her friend’s names were.  Things were on a roll…then came the dreaded breaking of the glorious pattern—the weekend.  As parents we entered the slow down mode, kids in playtime mode and bedtime slipped us by.

Have I given up in this delicious idea…never!  As a determined mother, I will succeed with my fairy coalition behind me.  We will get to bed on time….I hope.

Opposites in Love

In my latest novel the hero and heroine are complete opposites in personality.  They clash at every point until they allow the differences to assist rather than detract. The saying ‘Opposites attract’ bears weight, but is it true?  Like magnets that refuse to connect on one side and grab on another, can a man and woman truly make a successful relationship when they are polar opposites.

Against: Opposites rarely understand the other’s reasoning and point of view.  Why are you ordering your socks? Must you really throw you clothes on the floor?  You get the picture.  Two opposing ideas that can’t understand each other can create fruitless arguments.

For: There’s a new mystery to uncover.  You may not understand why your mate does what he/she does, but it certainly creates a spice in your life—keeps you on your toes.  Of course, you can also choose to make it a spear to attack your marriage or you can grow from it.

Lessons learned: Opposites challenge us.  Your uptight nature unwinds allowing spontaneity to seep in.  The time you spend searching for things or striving to keep up can be solved with a key to organization.

Does the saying hold?  I think it does.  I’m the structured kind of person, timed in every aspect, yet marrying a casual relaxed individual I have tasted the wares of spontaneity and find it to my taste.  So shall my characters find that a lover with an opposite personality is far better than one with the same type as you—battling out the best way to structure things or life on a whim with nothing to show.

My point—let your differences strength you. Flip the magnet over and accept the challenge and ultimately the growth.  Stop finding the contradictions of your natures and select the best from both perspectives.

Hunted Review

I love to read, especially LDS Fiction.  This is the first of many reviews.  Enjoy

This is Poulson’s latest release and just as powerful as his other mystery/suspense novels.  If you like suspense driven with firsthand knowledge of the workings of the justice system, Poulson is your man.

Hunted is the story of a murder during a hunting party, mixed with eco-terrorists plots and a tinge of romance.  As always, Poulson delves the reader into the heart of the investigation.  As a prior lawman and present judge, he adds depth to the elements of his story that allow the reader to feel like they are pig-back riding on the tails of discovery.

Hunted introduces eco-terrorist and the counterparts CIA/FBI alongside your regular good fashioned local lawman and a young hero.  In true fashion, the mystery remains just that until the last pages, unfolding amidst ‘Aha’s and Of course’s’.   

One thing is for sure, you are captivated from the beginning until the wee hours because you hate to put it down.  Another reason I have read every Poulson novel is the knowledge I have gained afterwards.  I could intern as a deputy..right?