Life is Not Fair

It’s our family motto—okay it’s mine.  We have the fortune, or misfortune to have ‘triplet’ girls.  At ages 8.8.7 we are in constant competition.  ‘She got to’ or ‘I want one too’ is commonly heard around our home.   So I make my kids repeat this phrase every time they want things to be even.  They moan, roll their eyes and say with lackluster, “Life is not Fair.”  If I didn’t worry about labeling our family problem for all to see I would have this phrase printed in large letter on our entry wall.

How true is it? We can never be the Jones, no matter how hard we try.  Our finances our different and honestly so are our tastes.  We may want that shiny speed boat, but we don’t have weekend’s free or a family of swimmers.  Our house may not be the size we desire, but what would we really do with all that space?  Okay, we would have elbow room, but who is to say we wouldn’t just fill it up with more doodads. We may love that new outfit our friend was wearing yesterday, but would the choice of color or style really look good on you?

So am I wrong for insisting upon this saying.  Is it too much of a reality check in their rosy life?  Maybe, maybe not.  If you were to visit our humble abode you might side with me.  The latest issues: 

·         But I wanted that dress, shirt, pant, etc.

·         It’s my turn to sit in that seat.

·         She got to wear that last time.

·         I want that toy too. (The one she got from a friend from I-don’t-know-where)

·         I want to lie down on the same couch too.

·         She got to pick _____ last time. (Fill-in-the-blank with movie, dinner, song, etc)

·         If she is sitting that way so can I (followed by a fight because they are touching)

Honestly, I get worn out with these petty demands.  Since when was life fair or even?  Must I always resort to charts—a rotating seating chart for the van, an assigned jacket color for the week and do I really have to record how wore what last.  Ugh.  LIFE IS NOT FAIR. 

Thus I push on, dreary and worn from the complaints.  Someday my children will realize that I was helping them.  One day when the phrase has finally sunk in they will move past envy and be strong on their own.  A mother can hope!

I Love You

Three little words with more meaning than any speech ever recorded.  As I’ve pondered them I find myself intrigued by its transformation throughout our life.  ‘I love you’ from a child is love uncontested and so quickly recovered despite any misdeeds.  Have you ever known a child to not forgive easily and in the sweetest voice extend their love?

As teenagers those words are highly cherished by their parents as they are rare and infrequent, for to admit such gushiness to your parents is difficult, yet how frequently they need to hear it from the parents.  A simple ‘I love you’ to a teen promises security and reassurance of their value.

As we separate from family love to romantic love between a man and a woman I marvel at its growth.  It transitions from the pressure to state the words to reassure the one you are with of your affections—wadding in shallow water—to one sided relationships that often leave one floundering in deep water.  We test our confidence, which fortunately grows through time as we venture into uncharted waters of love and love lost.

When true love enters our life, we are stronger for having steered our course through many oceans.  Our first connection starts with sparks and rapidly beating hearts.  The next few steps are shaky and filled with uncertainty.   Will he call again? Does she care?  Does he think I’m beautiful?  Does she only like me for my car?  Once past our insecurities something special happens—twitterpation.   After that first stride to reveal ones new founded love, the couple is connected at the hip and all other relationships and sometimes commitments are put to the side.  Eyes light up, kisses are exchanged and those pesky butterflies dance through the night.

Though time—which cannot be defined, for one couple a few dates for others years—you reach a point when love has grown from simple desire to unselfishness and a wish to remain together forever.  Weddings are planned and knots are tied.  The ‘I love you’ exchanged at this point is pure and deep.  It has moved beyond requirements to unbidden expression of deep affection.

Yet we reach a point when those little words aren’t exchanged as often.  When first engaged and then through the honeymoon years it is repeated multiple times during the day—when leaving, chatting on the phone, texting, meeting again and often through the night.  Then life rolls on, kids come and the ‘I love you’ occasions wane. 

In choosing my first Love Letter I knew it had to be I love you.  Its importance hasn’t dwindled; rather its necessity has grown.  It can’t conquer our problems, yet if we dig deeply within ourselves and identify its true source with our spouse, saying it out loud again only renew and strengthen the relationship.  Let the strength of these powerful words bring newness to your marriage—bring back the spark and butterflies or at least the warmth within from sharing such sweet words.

A New Beginning

If there was ever a time to blossom in life, it is now.  I've been living in a rut, coasting along without extending myself.  What has this given me...nothing in particular.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  My life is grand, just missing the spark or in this case the challenge to rise above the routine and become something greater.

Given this chance to step up, I've resolved to do the following:  Keep a blog on life and love and publish a novel (at least try).  Extending myself out there for acceptance or criticism in both cases has taken time to mentally prepare myself to do.  So here it goes.

My goal for this blog is to share my thoughts on life and love.  I'm addicted to romance novels (Clean Only).  Through the experiences of these fictional characters I appreciate life and love more.  I believe that success in both arenas is based on perseverance, knowledge and hard work.  I'll also humor my 'readers' with my adventures in writing.  Thanks for joining me on this new adventure.

Lydia Lindsey