Thursday, November 17, 2011

Opposites in Love

In my latest novel the hero and heroine are complete opposites in personality.  They clash at every point until they allow the differences to assist rather than detract. The saying ‘Opposites attract’ bears weight, but is it true?  Like magnets that refuse to connect on one side and grab on another, can a man and woman truly make a successful relationship when they are polar opposites.

Against: Opposites rarely understand the other’s reasoning and point of view.  Why are you ordering your socks? Must you really throw you clothes on the floor?  You get the picture.  Two opposing ideas that can’t understand each other can create fruitless arguments.
For: There’s a new mystery to uncover.  You may not understand why your mate does what he/she does, but it certainly creates a spice in your life—keeps you on your toes.  Of course, you can also choose to make it a spear to attack your marriage or you can grow from it.
Lessons learned: Opposites challenge us.  Your uptight nature unwinds allowing spontaneity to seep in.  The time you spend searching for things or striving to keep up can be solved with a key to organization.
Does the saying hold?  I think it does.  I’m the structured kind of person, timed in every aspect, yet marrying a casual relaxed individual I have tasted the wares of spontaneity and find it to my taste.  So shall my characters find that a lover with an opposite personality is far better than one with the same type as you—battling out the best way to structure things or life on a whim with nothing to show.
My point—let your differences strength you. Flip the magnet over and accept the challenge and ultimately the growth.  Stop finding the contradictions of your natures and select the best from both perspectives.


  1. Well said. I also have some main characters who are opposites, but the more they learn about each other, the more similarities they discover. I loved writing their story.

  2. My WIP characters so far are very agreeable, but I expect to have some opposition in the near future. I too, think that oppositites attract, but I love the fact that my special friend and I share more likes than dislikes and we seem to have the same goals for the future. However, I want some things to move along whereas my friend seems to want to wait things out. So, I guess I am both ways.

  3. I love reading about conflictual relationships. It's always so interesting!

  4. Well written Lydia, gave me some food for thought. I really like your point of view.