My Husband -- My Best Friend

     I suppose it may be uncommon to say that, but I’m grateful I can. It’s not as if we spend hours together shopping at the store or making crafts like I would do with a girlfriend. Instead he is that rock that I can lean on. We can do nothing but hang out with a movie and we both feel complete. He’s the first one I want to talk to and will listen when I go on and on. I could share more, but I’d rather not embarrass him. 

     I think the difference between a husband who’s a lover and one who’s your friend is that with the latter you get both. Those romantic moments are sweet and fulfilling, but when romance isn’t daily you don’t feel cheated.

     A best-friend-husband means you can coincide in life with practical harmony. There are no failed expectations because you are more likely to give than take. Your friends make be fickle and critical, but your BFH knows you better. That messy house is partly his fault and the kids are made from his genes too.

     The best part is that men aren’t catty. They grow use to your lack of flare, course you have forgiven them for their love handles. They don’t judge you based on what you have created; in fact they would probably be content with a house with fewer decorations.

     The trick I believe is starting with a BFH. Since my husband and I met online we were friends first and I appreciate that fact more and more. We didn’t have showy dates and awkward conversation; we got right to the core and grew closer in the process.

     I’m not a love guru, so I can’t say how to create the perfect BFH. Maybe its simplicity in our expectations, or being a team in every aspect.  Do you gravitate toward him? I find myself giddy just being by his side—content to have his arm around me. My greatest Christmas wish is for all women to have a BFH.

Contest

I started this blog a few months ago as a fun outlet for the many thoughts rolling in my mind. Perhaps I'm crazy, but as a writer we wish for validation and acceptance, and then as the world of publishing is changing, we need more than a publisher and their team of marketers, we need others to already know our name.  I thought this contest would be a snazzy way to capture people's attention to my writing, share my perspective or my drivel. 

How you can get your name in the drawing for a fun reward:
1.  Becoming a follower (two entries)
2.  Comment on my posts, only once per post (for a total of six more entries)
3.  Refer my blog to other friends.  Put a comment on the post A New Beginning with the names of friends you told about me.  If they become a follower, or comment on a post I will give you two entries per friend.

I will be awarding three prizes to three different individuals whose names will be drawn from a hat randomly by my own personal Vanna.  Increase your odds, join in the fun.  After all, it's nearly Christmas and who doesn't want a free gift.

The Reward: A crocheted flower ring from ToCreateOrNot’s Etsy shop.

  You can select from the available rings or request a custom one of your own color.  Have fun and good luck!  Contest ends midnight of Dec 3rd.

And the winners are: Susan, Emily and Becca.  Thanks to all her participated.  Come back and check on occasion.  I'll keep posting my thoughts and reviews, sharing part of my life with you.

Garden Plot Review

Garden Plot by Kristen McKendry ranks up there with the best I’ve read lately.  It captured me from the beginning until four hours later, dishes in the sink and chaos reigning around me.  That’s good!  McKendry has the ability to not only weave a mystery that only unfolds at the end, but develop great characters that are memorable.  From those who help at the Whole-Life Wellness Center to the ‘guests’ and to the suspects, which often were the same. 

Amidst the chaos a murder always provides, Erin Kilpatrick rises to the occasion and shows strength and bravado she easily denies.  It’s her drive to solve the mystery that instills her into my heart as one of my favorite character.  You’ll be pulled in waiting for Erin to ask pivotal questions and giving her a high five for the ones she surprises you with.  The extra delight happens as her churning mind pulls the unsuspecting detective assigned to the case into her wake.  The two together make an amazing team—imagine Maddie and David, or more recently Booth and Bones.  Do I hear a sequel?

Garden Plot is a delightful book and one I recommend to all readers.  As the tag on the front says—a mystery rooted in humor.  The perfect balance of sleuthing meets the challenges of real life. 

Shoe Fairy

A friend of ours tuned is into a great concept for getting your kids to bed…a shoe fairy.  Like the tooth fairy and others of their kind, Miss Shoe Fairy (Betty at our home) leaves goodies in the child’s left out shoe IF they get to bed at the assigned time.

Great concept…even worked a few times.  For a couple of days in a row our girls were rushing to get to bed and even quiet once we closed their door.  Little trinkets commonly found at dollar stores (since mother fairy doesn’t believe they need any more candy) were stashed in their shoes. 

After the first night, our middle child began leaving notes for our fairy.  The correspondence was great.  We learned our fairy’s name, how old she was (163) and what her friend’s names were.  Things were on a roll…then came the dreaded breaking of the glorious pattern—the weekend.  As parents we entered the slow down mode, kids in playtime mode and bedtime slipped us by.

Have I given up in this delicious idea…never!  As a determined mother, I will succeed with my fairy coalition behind me.  We will get to bed on time….I hope.

Opposites in Love

In my latest novel the hero and heroine are complete opposites in personality.  They clash at every point until they allow the differences to assist rather than detract. The saying ‘Opposites attract’ bears weight, but is it true?  Like magnets that refuse to connect on one side and grab on another, can a man and woman truly make a successful relationship when they are polar opposites.

Against: Opposites rarely understand the other’s reasoning and point of view.  Why are you ordering your socks? Must you really throw you clothes on the floor?  You get the picture.  Two opposing ideas that can’t understand each other can create fruitless arguments.

For: There’s a new mystery to uncover.  You may not understand why your mate does what he/she does, but it certainly creates a spice in your life—keeps you on your toes.  Of course, you can also choose to make it a spear to attack your marriage or you can grow from it.

Lessons learned: Opposites challenge us.  Your uptight nature unwinds allowing spontaneity to seep in.  The time you spend searching for things or striving to keep up can be solved with a key to organization.

Does the saying hold?  I think it does.  I’m the structured kind of person, timed in every aspect, yet marrying a casual relaxed individual I have tasted the wares of spontaneity and find it to my taste.  So shall my characters find that a lover with an opposite personality is far better than one with the same type as you—battling out the best way to structure things or life on a whim with nothing to show.

My point—let your differences strength you. Flip the magnet over and accept the challenge and ultimately the growth.  Stop finding the contradictions of your natures and select the best from both perspectives.

Hunted Review

I love to read, especially LDS Fiction.  This is the first of many reviews.  Enjoy

This is Poulson’s latest release and just as powerful as his other mystery/suspense novels.  If you like suspense driven with firsthand knowledge of the workings of the justice system, Poulson is your man.

Hunted is the story of a murder during a hunting party, mixed with eco-terrorists plots and a tinge of romance.  As always, Poulson delves the reader into the heart of the investigation.  As a prior lawman and present judge, he adds depth to the elements of his story that allow the reader to feel like they are pig-back riding on the tails of discovery.

Hunted introduces eco-terrorist and the counterparts CIA/FBI alongside your regular good fashioned local lawman and a young hero.  In true fashion, the mystery remains just that until the last pages, unfolding amidst ‘Aha’s and Of course’s’.   

One thing is for sure, you are captivated from the beginning until the wee hours because you hate to put it down.  Another reason I have read every Poulson novel is the knowledge I have gained afterwards.  I could intern as a deputy..right?

Life is Not Fair

It’s our family motto—okay it’s mine.  We have the fortune, or misfortune to have ‘triplet’ girls.  At ages 8.8.7 we are in constant competition.  ‘She got to’ or ‘I want one too’ is commonly heard around our home.   So I make my kids repeat this phrase every time they want things to be even.  They moan, roll their eyes and say with lackluster, “Life is not Fair.”  If I didn’t worry about labeling our family problem for all to see I would have this phrase printed in large letter on our entry wall.

How true is it? We can never be the Jones, no matter how hard we try.  Our finances our different and honestly so are our tastes.  We may want that shiny speed boat, but we don’t have weekend’s free or a family of swimmers.  Our house may not be the size we desire, but what would we really do with all that space?  Okay, we would have elbow room, but who is to say we wouldn’t just fill it up with more doodads. We may love that new outfit our friend was wearing yesterday, but would the choice of color or style really look good on you?

So am I wrong for insisting upon this saying.  Is it too much of a reality check in their rosy life?  Maybe, maybe not.  If you were to visit our humble abode you might side with me.  The latest issues: 

·         But I wanted that dress, shirt, pant, etc.

·         It’s my turn to sit in that seat.

·         She got to wear that last time.

·         I want that toy too. (The one she got from a friend from I-don’t-know-where)

·         I want to lie down on the same couch too.

·         She got to pick _____ last time. (Fill-in-the-blank with movie, dinner, song, etc)

·         If she is sitting that way so can I (followed by a fight because they are touching)

Honestly, I get worn out with these petty demands.  Since when was life fair or even?  Must I always resort to charts—a rotating seating chart for the van, an assigned jacket color for the week and do I really have to record how wore what last.  Ugh.  LIFE IS NOT FAIR. 

Thus I push on, dreary and worn from the complaints.  Someday my children will realize that I was helping them.  One day when the phrase has finally sunk in they will move past envy and be strong on their own.  A mother can hope!

I Love You

Three little words with more meaning than any speech ever recorded.  As I’ve pondered them I find myself intrigued by its transformation throughout our life.  ‘I love you’ from a child is love uncontested and so quickly recovered despite any misdeeds.  Have you ever known a child to not forgive easily and in the sweetest voice extend their love?

As teenagers those words are highly cherished by their parents as they are rare and infrequent, for to admit such gushiness to your parents is difficult, yet how frequently they need to hear it from the parents.  A simple ‘I love you’ to a teen promises security and reassurance of their value.

As we separate from family love to romantic love between a man and a woman I marvel at its growth.  It transitions from the pressure to state the words to reassure the one you are with of your affections—wadding in shallow water—to one sided relationships that often leave one floundering in deep water.  We test our confidence, which fortunately grows through time as we venture into uncharted waters of love and love lost.

When true love enters our life, we are stronger for having steered our course through many oceans.  Our first connection starts with sparks and rapidly beating hearts.  The next few steps are shaky and filled with uncertainty.   Will he call again? Does she care?  Does he think I’m beautiful?  Does she only like me for my car?  Once past our insecurities something special happens—twitterpation.   After that first stride to reveal ones new founded love, the couple is connected at the hip and all other relationships and sometimes commitments are put to the side.  Eyes light up, kisses are exchanged and those pesky butterflies dance through the night.

Though time—which cannot be defined, for one couple a few dates for others years—you reach a point when love has grown from simple desire to unselfishness and a wish to remain together forever.  Weddings are planned and knots are tied.  The ‘I love you’ exchanged at this point is pure and deep.  It has moved beyond requirements to unbidden expression of deep affection.

Yet we reach a point when those little words aren’t exchanged as often.  When first engaged and then through the honeymoon years it is repeated multiple times during the day—when leaving, chatting on the phone, texting, meeting again and often through the night.  Then life rolls on, kids come and the ‘I love you’ occasions wane. 

In choosing my first Love Letter I knew it had to be I love you.  Its importance hasn’t dwindled; rather its necessity has grown.  It can’t conquer our problems, yet if we dig deeply within ourselves and identify its true source with our spouse, saying it out loud again only renew and strengthen the relationship.  Let the strength of these powerful words bring newness to your marriage—bring back the spark and butterflies or at least the warmth within from sharing such sweet words.

A New Beginning

If there was ever a time to blossom in life, it is now.  I've been living in a rut, coasting along without extending myself.  What has this given me...nothing in particular.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining.  My life is grand, just missing the spark or in this case the challenge to rise above the routine and become something greater.

Given this chance to step up, I've resolved to do the following:  Keep a blog on life and love and publish a novel (at least try).  Extending myself out there for acceptance or criticism in both cases has taken time to mentally prepare myself to do.  So here it goes.

My goal for this blog is to share my thoughts on life and love.  I'm addicted to romance novels (Clean Only).  Through the experiences of these fictional characters I appreciate life and love more.  I believe that success in both arenas is based on perseverance, knowledge and hard work.  I'll also humor my 'readers' with my adventures in writing.  Thanks for joining me on this new adventure.

Lydia Lindsey